It's not a happy way to live.
It's not a joyous way to live.
But it keeps me alive.
It feeds me as it feeds upon me.
We have a symbiotic relationship.
We two.
Anger and me.
Every time I forget.
Every time I let down my guard
And am singed by ignorance, prejudice
Or malice
Its hungry tongue laps
Hard against my breast
And I am galvanized
Into pure ire.
I won't melt a heart
But I will resonate through
The canyons of insensate resistance.
Along the Information SuperHighway
Rochelle Hope Mehr
Is this Oz?
Which oracle have I tapped into?
I'm shimmying along, seeking a heart, a brain and the courage to find myself
Home.
Is it stringing me along, like a deceitful lover?
I plug into search engines words of intense purpose.
If I can just keep this sense of purpose.
Be galvanized by bits of relevant information.
Ignore the tawdry, the ordinary.
But these digits, these 0's and 1's, can run you ragged along a pesky perimeter.
Which bit to choose?
Which is applicable?
Is the data pile infinite as it appears
Or do the digits ultimately converge and does wisdom emerge toward the limit of Imagination?
How irrational.
I invoke memory.
My memory.
Memory will save me.
A sense of cohesion.
Something I can string the digits along.
The Oracle speaks:
"You can accumulate data forever
But never make up your mind."
This Wizard spouts sound advice
Even if he uses unusual means.
I shut off the machine.
Rochelle Hope Mehr
She lives in New Jersey (USA). These poems reflect some of her struggles with the direct and indirect effects of autoimmune thyroid disease, a disorder which has both physical and psychological manifestations. The direct effects are fairly obvious (e.g. headaches, muscle and joint pain, depression, anxiety) but the indirect effects are more subtle and can involve irreparable damage to human relationships as well as misdiagnosis by doctors leading to iatrogenic effects from drugs which worsen the disorder. The Internet has proven a valuable resource in gathering information about treatment options but in the end, one's own experience must be the final authority. This is the backdrop against which these poems were written.
Her poetry has appeared in The Rogue Scholars Collective, The Moonwort Review, Wired Art from Wired Hearts, Writers of the Desert Sage, CER*BER*US, and other publications.
Photograph: Shoko Sadoshima
Since she bought her first camera (Konica Big mini/compact camera) when she was seventeen, she has continued taking pictures for several years. The subjects for her photography are children, girls, and lovely things. Her other photograph is available on Fragments #26.
Copyright by Rochelle Hope Mehr
Photograph Copyright by Shoko Sadoshima
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