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version 1 of 7
(original cut -- getting at the sense):
Hues
--------------------------------------------------------
This is purple - a tree shadow walking down the gravel,
the purple that binds the love of red with sapphire. --
That way the rosy bark and the happy green of birches,
and in her mobile dress the blue of skies' circles
But within me the white, white, white, in monotone -
because in me I carry all the hues' concentrated mystery. -
How I suffer within the white of my whiteness -
I want to be a hue -- who will shatter me into rainbow?
translated by Marek Lugowski
19 November 2000
Chicago
version 2 of 7
(recovering rhyme, no rhythm yet, disambiguating line 2):
Hues
--------------------------------------------------------
Here is purple -- tree's shadow walking down the gravel path,
the purple that binds the red's and the sapphire's love. --
There -- a happy green with a rosy bark of birches
and in her mobile dress the skies in blue circles
But within me white, white, white, a monotony -
because in me I hold the hues' condensed mystery. -
Within the white of my whiteness how I suffer so -
I want to be a hue -- who will cleave me into rainbow?
translated by Marek Lugowski
30 December 2001
Chicago
version 3 of 7
(getting rhythm):
Hues
--------------------------------------------------------
Here is purple -- tree's shadow walking down the gravel,
the purple that binds the red's and the sapphire's love. -
There -- the rosy bark and the happy green of birches
and in her mobile dress the blue of the skies' circles
But in me the white, the white, the white monotony -
because in me I hold the hues' condensed mystery. -
Inside the white of my whiteness how I suffer so -
I want to be a hue - who will smash me to rainbow?
translated by Marek Lugowski
31 December 2001
Chicago
version 4 of 7
(better English, unfortunately 1st couplet longer than others):
Hues
--------------------------------------------------------
Here is purple -- a tree's shadow walking down the gravel,
the purple binding the red and the sapphire in love. -
There -- the rosy bark and the happy green of birches
and in her mobile dress the blue of the skies' circles.
But inside me is the white, white, white monotony -
because in me I hold the hues' focused mystery. -
Within the white of my whiteness how I suffer so -
I want to be a hue - who will smash me to rainbow?
translated by Marek Lugowski
1 January 2002
Chicago
version 5 of 7
(rhyme, rhythm, 13-beat lines, connected "dress" to "love"):
Hues
--------------------------------------------------------
Here's purple -- a tree's shadow walking down the gravel,
the purple binds the red and the sapphire in love. -
There -- the rosy bark and the happy green of birches,
and love in her mobile dress wears the skies' blue circles.
But inside me is the white, white, white monotony -
because in me I hold the hues' focused mystery. -
Within the white of my whiteness how I suffer so -
I want to be a hue - who will smash me to rainbow?
translated by Marek Lugowski
20 January 2002
Chicago
version 6 of 7
(improved 1, 3, 4; "dress" remade an attribute of "green"):
Hues
--------------------------------------------------------
Here is purple - a tree's shadow walks the gravel path,
the purple binds the red and the sapphire in love. -
There - the pink bark and the happy green of birches lie,
and in the green's mobile dress flits the blue-circled sky.
But inside me is the white, white, white monotony -
because in me I hold the hues' focused mystery. -
Within the white of my whiteness how I suffer so -
I want to be a hue - who will smash me to rainbow?
translated by Marek Lugowski
20 January 2002
Chicago
version 7 of 7
(more exactness in meaning and feeling, in 14-beat lines)
Hues
--------------------------------------------------------
Here is purple - a tree's shadow walking the gravel path,
the purple linking the red and the sapphire in love. -
There - the pinkish bark and the joyous green of birches,
and in the flitting dress of the green - the skies' blue circles.
But within me the white, white, white dwells monotonously -
because in me I carry the hues' focused mystery. -
Within the white of my whiteness oh how I suffer so -
I want to be a hue - who will smash me into rainbow?
translated by Marek Lugowski
23 January 2002
Chicago
Maria Pawlikowska-Jasnorzewska
Maria Pawlikowska-Jasnorzewska (24 November 1891 - 9 July 1945), one of best Polish poets from between WW I and WW II. _Niebieskie midgaly_ (Polish idiom for "idle fancies", literally: "Blue Almonds") was her literary debut. You can see her pictures here:
http://www.zapiecek.com/pawlikowska_zycie.html
(Zycie means life in polish)
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